Narcissists love to control and stay in control of other people. They can't accept that someone does not want to be with them or reject them. To divorce a narcissist in spite of the narcissist's unwillingness to do so, the partner of the narcissist has to face with a myriad of obstacles that are put forth by the narcissist to maintain control of the situation.
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Red Flags that Signaled Cheating and Narcissistic Discard
All of the N's behaviors that didn't make sense then, make total sense now when they're combined together. The repetitive nature of these behaviors during my relationship with him also lead me to believe that the N has been cheating on me the whole time he was involved with me. The last affair that I found out about might not have been the first.
Healing from Narcissistic Abuse: Acceptance the Nature of Narcissism
To heal from narcissistic abuse, we must accept what narcissism is, accept that the person caused the abuse is a narcissist, and accept that that person will never change.
Besides No Contact, Acceptance is the Next Step for Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
During my journey, sometimes I made progress while other times I took a step backward in my recovery. How I felt about things could be quite unpredictable, especially in the beginning. The recovery process is not a linear path, it's rather a composite of many emotional peaks and valleys.
Two Examples of Insidious and Pervasive Narcissist Controlling Tactics
Narcissists live in fear of being controlled by others. To avoid that, they create scenarios so that they can have the upper hand over their victims. Long after I was done with the Narcissist (the N) that I dealt with, I shuddered to think about his controlling behaviors.
Love Bombing – the Red Flags that I Missed
Love bombing, or idealization stage, is a distinct phase of the relationship with a narcissist. I had a feeling that I went to fast with the narcissist that I dealt with (the N), but I went ahead with it anyway. These are the prime examples of love bombing; he actually said and did these things to me.
Are Narcissists All Bad? What is The Cycle of Abuse?
No, of course not, they are not all bad. Narcissists are also humans. They do bad things, yes, but they also have a good side to them. Narcissists don't go around with the N stamp on their foreheads. They act and look like regular people, or even better.
Narcissistic Trick that You Should Know: Fake Crying
It took me around 5 years to figure out how the Narcissist (the N) that I was married to execute a fake cry. He didn't cry a lot to me, but when he did, it didn't feel right to me deep down inside. I didn't know why I felt the way I felt, so I kept carrying on, but now I do. I felt that way because it was all fake crying on his part. My body knew, but my mind couldn't understand his behavior until the last couple of times I saw him crying.
Duping Delight is a Sign of the Narcissist’s Lying
Narcissists feel a rush when they are able to manipulate and deceive other people, which reinforced the narcissist’s perceived sense of superiority and power. Narcissists are addicted to this rush, and they can’t help but showing this facial expression called duping delight when they feel like they are successful at conning someone. Duping delight is the uncontrollable outer expression of hidden pleasure derived from the perception of being able to elude responsibilities with lies and manipulation. I saw duping delight in the form of a quick smirk flashed across the face of the narcissist (the N) that I dealt with....
Narcissistic Projection: “I accuse you of what I do”
Accusations from narcissists are actually confession. I wish I would have known about this little golden tip earlier in my dealing with the Narcissist (the N), it would have saved me so much time trying to figure out what he was doing. With hindsight now, I realized that pretty much everything he accused me of doing, he was doing it himself. It became so clear to me what he was doing and exactly when he was doing it when I correlated what he said with other evidences that I had. During the time of dating him, the N accused me...
The Endless Lies that Narcissists Tell
I never would have thought that the person I have been married to has the capabilities to lie about anything and everything without blinking an eye. Only until later that I realize the narcissist (the N) that I deal with is a professional liar. He lies even when he doesn’t need to. Lying is a tool that is often used by narcissists to gain narcissistic supply, to feed their egos, and to help them twist their narratives to protect their image. As long as the narcissists gain something from telling lies, it’s not frivolous to them. To them it’s worth...
Dealing with Grief from Narcissistic Abuse
Grief comes visiting me often during my day. Like a thunderstorm in summer’s night, it comes unexpectedly and devastatingly so with not much warning. I would be doing laundry or watching a movie when I was reminded of something that happened and grief hit me like a blow to my heart. Tears would come out of nowhere, and I would silently wipe them away. When will this end?
The Most Important Choice in My Life: Should I stay, or Should I go?
One of the major decision that I have to make during the ordeal with the narcissist is whether or not I should stay in the relationship. Do I want to be the "Stepford wife"?
Narcissists’ Words and Actions are Inconsistent
Narcissists' words are cheap and empty. They use words to trap us in. Their actions, however, are probably the best indicators we have to identify them.
Triangulation
Triangulation is a manipulative technique where the toxic person such as a narcissist uses a third person to influence the relationship between you and him/her.
Have They Ever Disappeared on You?
The act of disappearance, or discarding of the victim, is the hallmark of toxic relationships inflicted by narcissists. They can vanish and leave the victims confused and dazzled at what just happened.
Who are these Toxic People, the Narcissists?
Narcissists blend easily into society and act like a friendly neighbor, a devoted friend, a caring family member, or a loving spouse.