Accusations from narcissists are actually confession.

I wish I would have known about this little golden tip earlier in my dealing with the Narcissist (the N), it would have saved me so much time trying to figure out what he was doing. With hindsight now, I realized that pretty much everything he accused me of doing, he was doing it himself. It became so clear to me what he was doing and exactly when he was doing it when I correlated what he said with other evidences that I had.

During the time of dating him, the N accused me of talking to my ex-boyfriend. Of course I didn’t, but it turned out he was the one who talked to his ex, who turned to be the affair partner later on after he married me.

After he got a new job that was far away from home, the first thing he did was accuse me of “keeping secrets”. I remember laughing it off and calling him silly. Little did I know he was the one who was keeping secrets. He basically foreshadowed what he would do in the following months.

A couple of weeks after he left me for her, I actually didn’t know about her existence or the affair yet. When he was in Cambodia having a great time with her, he sent me a message asked me if I had someone else. Again, he was the one who had someone else.

During divorce proceedings, he said all I cared about was money. And yet, he was the one who obscured and hid bank statements to hide his assets. He turned out to be the one who only cared about money.

Be aware if the narcissists accuse you of something that you don’t do. It can be a way to look into their twisted minds and behaviors.